Decluttering Head Games

Our things are a reflection of who we are, who we want to be, and who we’d like others to think we are. “This is my sense of style.” “I disdain paying attention to style.”  “I am afraid to be different.” “I am proud to be different.” “I prefer to have the best version of whatever I own.” “I esteem making do or finding a cheap alternative.” “I care for my belongings.” “I have other things to think about which are more important than mere stuff.” “I have excellent taste.” “I have traveled.’ “I am an intellectual.” On and on. These are the messages we whisper to ourselves and project to others. Sometimes they are the truth, sometimes they are not.

And that’s just one of the mental labyrinths we travel when we are deciding what stays and what goes in our kitchen drawers and our closets and our basements! We also deal with the love or lack of it attached to gifts and bequests. We struggle with our wisdom and intelligence when we have to admit to ourselves that we made an unwise purchase in the past.  We fret over badly constructed equipment that stops working before we feel we have received the value of what we paid for it. We try to balance form and function. We fear being caught without if our circumstances should change in the future and we find ourselves in need of an item we once dejunked. We get lost in memories of other phases of our lives when somebody we love fit into those tiny shoes or when Grandpa used that axe to cut his firewood (although it didn’t have that big chunk out of the blade back then) or how nobody makes floppy disks anymore. We worry about hurting Aunt Harriet’s feelings if we donate her antimacassars. No wonder we avoid decluttering!

Really, there are three main negative emotions we experience when we make choices about our belongings: guilt, fear, and bitterness. Notice the next time you are decluttering if you begin to feel any of these. Why do you feel that way? Is it rational? Can you think of a better way to think about the issue? Share here, if you care to, and let us know how things are going.

Today’s task: Do something in a bathroom to improve things. Wash your makeup brushes and hairbrushes. Think of how you can streamline your bathroom cleaning routine. Clean out a drawer. Toss all those half-used bottles of miracle cream and secret formula spray that turn out to be not so magical after all. If you can’t stand to throw them out, most homeless shelters will take them to give to the folks they serve. In any case, get down to what you actually use regularly. Simplify, simplify.

And instead of guilt, fear, and bitterness, notice the positive emotions decluttering brings to you. For me, I often feel light, calm, and peaceful. I feel as though there is room in my life for new things that may come – not just stuff, but even experiences and activities that my ordered environment makes possible. I feel a deep gratitude for the abundance with which our family has been blessed, and I feel happy to think of others who may benefit from the excess items we are donating. I feel delighted to imagine somebody coming across that “good” item and getting it for a good price.

Decluttering for better mental health!