Kiss in Front of Your Kids

Why You Should Kiss in Front of Your Kids

Kiss in front of your kids. Smooch. Squeeze each other. No, I’m not taking about anything that causes heavy breathing — I’m talking about:

  • Promoting a sense of security that can never be achieved through words alone. Telling your child, “Mommy and Daddy will never get divorced,” doesn’t come close to what they understand by watching you laugh together, speak affectionately to each other, and touch each other with love.
  • Letting them see what healthy marriages look like — two individuals who are in the never-totally-completed process of becoming one but are reaching for that state every day.
  • Showing them that physical expressions of love, in their proper place, are good and right.
  • Helping them find their place in the family and in the world. You hug and kiss each other, and then you draw your children into the circle of loving. They learn they are not the most important person to you (Their daddy is!), but they are way, way up there. This, too, is good and right.
Couples who play together stay together!

Couples who play together stay together!

How do you do this if it doesn’t come naturally?

  1. Work at becoming playful! Yep, for some of us lightening up is an effort. Be free with tickles, grab your husband when he walks by and dance him once around the room, have a family roughhousing session on the floor. Give smurfets. (I think everyone except us calls these raspberries.)
  2. Give warm greetings and farewells.
  3. If you have to, start small and build: squeeze your husband on the shoulder, sit next to him on the sofa and then snuggle for a few minutes, hold hands when you pray before meals. (If he acts surprised, this is a sign you need to do it much more often!)
Never stop laughing together!

Never stop laughing together!

What about you? Are you and your husband affectionate in front of your kids? I think how easy this is has a lot to do with how we were raised. Were your parent huggers and kissers?

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9 Comments

  1. Alyssa
    Posted November 4, 2014 at 9:22 am | Permalink

    Ewwwwwww!!!

    Just kidding!! I’m grateful that you and dad chose to live your marriage this way. Actions speak louder than words and we have never had any true reason to doubt your love for each other.

  2. Sara
    Posted November 4, 2014 at 8:48 pm | Permalink

    Yes, my parents hugged, kissed, and held hands in front of us kids! 🙂 It wasn’t until I became a wife myself that I recognized the true blessing of having that example growing up. Thank you, Ms. Lori!

  3. Gina McKinsey
    Posted November 5, 2014 at 6:08 am | Permalink

    Wonderful article and so true! 🙂

    • Posted November 5, 2014 at 8:24 am | Permalink

      I am glad you agree, Gina. I’m surprised to have no dissenting comments so far. I expected some because I think we “kiss in front of the kids” couples are in the minority.
      Lori recently posted..Kiss in Front of Your KidsMy Profile

  4. Posted November 17, 2014 at 2:17 pm | Permalink

    Hi Lori,
    I loved this post! Yes. My husband and I are very affectionate in front of the children. Last summer one my children had a friend spend some time with us. This friend commented about our “displays of affection”. It was foreign to this person. Apparently, this person’s parents did not show affection like Jimmy and I do! 🙂 It is just natural to us, and my kids don’t seem to be grossed out by it…….I guess it’s all they know. 🙂 Now, they do get a little concerned when Jimmy tosses me into the air, or puts me on his shoulders…..mostly because I am shrieking!

    • Posted November 18, 2014 at 8:54 am | Permalink

      I’m laughing at your shrieking! My dad gave my mom periodic airplane spins — her stretched across his shoulders — from the time I can remember until just a few years ago. She squealed, we squealed — such a great memory!

      Our kids, too, tell us that many of their friends’ parents don’t behave the way we do. Going to college was a big eye-opener for them about this kind of thing — they all came home with heightened appreciation for growing up in a (mostly!) emotionally-healthy family.

      The great thing is that even if we didn’t have that growing up, the momentum can always turn around with OUR generation. I see that over and over again!
      Lori recently posted..Flow: Lose Yourself in Something Now and ThenMy Profile

      • Posted November 19, 2014 at 8:21 am | Permalink

        Yes. College has been an eye-opener for my oldest daughter that all families are not like ours……I am so thankful that she realizes how much Jimmy and I love each other and the children too. I have purposed to convey that. (Of course I fail. Lots.) You are right about the heightened appreciation. She has expressed her thankfulness, and that makes my heart so happy. And humbles me to pray for the strength to keep on.

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  • In My Kitchen, In My Life is a place where women (and the odd male) can be encouraged, nudged, and occasionally kicked in the pants toward living their lives on a higher plane. Oh, and readers get plenty of chances to laugh at the author's foibles, which is always worth a click.

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