Cerebral Homemaking Part 3: Lofty Thinking — About Vision, Philosophy, and the G Word

This is cup-of-tea length, so grab a treat and a pen and paper while you’re at it. Let’s go.

Here is the thing: before you can train your homemaking thinking in better directions so you can get better homemaking behavior, you’ve got to begin with the end in mind. I know what you’re thinking – she’s gonna say it, I know it, yep, here it comes – goals. Argh!

Are you dying inside? I know, I know – every time you set goals you do great for a few days (hours), slack off (guilt), and finally give up and go back to your old ways or worse (despair). Die not, Friend. I am going to describe three choices of vision/philosophies/goals, then I am going to tell you which one you should pick, and then in the next article I am going to tell you not to aim for any of the three. Bossy, aren’t I?

Choosing a goal involves developing a vision for what you want, and developing a vision involves knowing your own philosophy about the subject. Women’s clothing is an easy example. The vision and goal of a woman whose philosophy about clothing is simply that it is necessary to clothe the body will be radically different than the woman who believes clothing can be used to make a statement about her values and they also will be radically different than a someone who believes clothing is the way to show off her assets. The first will see herself wearing whatever comes to hand and her goal will be to replace clothing only when it wears out. The second will have a certain style in mind that reflects her values and will seek clothing that fits her criteria. The third will see herself in clothing that shows off her body and will choose items that do that job. Homemaking philosophy, vision, and goals work the same way.

So, what is your homemaking philosophy? _____________________ Are you giving the screen a blank stare? That’s ok. Philosophy can be so slippery to get hold of, but if we start with identifying our vision it will probably help us both choose our goal andbe able to articulate our philosophy. So. How do you want to see your home and all it encompasses – your physical dwelling place, your family members, and the way you interact and live together in that place? Add in visitors and guests, too. What do you see in your ideal home?

Do you see an extremely clean, really sterile, series of rooms? Is everything perfect, like something from a magazine? How do the people feel in this space? Are they comfortable, or do they perch on the edges of everything, afraid to muss things up? Are they spending all their time maintaining the cleanliness of the house, or do they have time for other pursuits? Are they happy to be there? Can people relax there? Be productive there? Is there a lot of guilt, or trying to escape, or trying to force others to help?

Do you see a space where things are orderly but there is evidence that people live there? Do you see rooms where there is a homey kind of beauty, the kind where everything is not new and shiny, but there are personal touches like some flowers or a pretty fabric, or some object from nature to look at or touch? Does it smell nice? Can people find what they need to do what they are doing? Can people do what they are doing without having to clear up a lot of other stuff before they can start? Are people happy to be there? Can people relax there? Be productive there? Is there a lot of guilt, or trying to escape, or trying to force others to help?

Do you see people searching frantically for shoes and keys and papers every time they are leaving the house? Do you see no place to sit down and rest without moving stacks of stuff? Can someone put their baby on the floor or an important document on a table without fear either will be in peril? Does it smell bad? Are everyday tasks put off until they are big burdensome jobs so that it is hard to get just them done, never mind other things? Are people happy to be there? Can they relax there? Be productive there? Is there a lot of guilt, or trying to escape, or trying to force others to help?

These three visions could be titled Showplace, Living Space, and Dumping Ground. It is probably obvious that my vision (and ultimately my goal) is to have the second kind of home, a Living Space, and I think yours should be, too. My philosophy makes the choice for me, although I am only able to articulate my philosophy after I do some imagining and get a vision in place. I think homemaking means making a home that is:

— orderly enough that the productivity of the people living there is unhindered.

— clean enough (hygienic) that the people are healthy and comfortable.

— refreshing to the senses – it has touches of beauty, smells nice, sounds nice, is a place where the food tastes good, and feels nice to the people who spend time there.

In short, I think my home should be a place where people are welcomed in, able to stay, and able to go out with ease and pleasure.

Now that I have developed a vision for my home and identified the philosophy behind it, I can translate those into some general and specific goals for my work as a homemaker. We’ll talk about that in the next article, including why I think you shouldn’t aim for any of the three visions we listed today.

I am giving a little assignment at the end of each of the remaining articles in this series, because just reading about changing our thinking to change our behavior won’t amount to much if we don’t do the changed thinking. For today, articulate your vision for your home and your philosophy of homemaking. Write it out in actual words. Don’t get caught up in which part is vision and which is philosophy, though – the main thing is to clarify what you want for your home and why. If it helps, complete these statements:

I want my home to be a place where:

When people are in my home, I want them to feel:

I think the purpose of our house is:

Want to read earlier Cerebral Homemaking articles?