Some friends of ours vacationed for a week in Washington, DC and bookended their time there with two weekend visits with us. They are a family of seven, with children ranging in age from two to seventeen. We have been fortunate to have all kinds of terrific visitors in our home, but I guess because this is a larger family I especially noticed what a difference it makes when your guests are particularlygood ones like they are. Here are some tips if you, too, want to be a welcome guest:
- Make yourself reasonably small – Be tidier than you might normally be. Don’t spread your belongings all over the place. Make the bed. Hang up towels, remove your toiletries from a shared bathroom between uses, wipe up after yourself, and don’t camp out in there too long. Take your dishes to the sink.
- Adapt to the ways of the household – if your hosts go to bed early, you don’t necessarily have to hit the sack, too, but move about quietly so as not to disturb. If they ask your children to keep food and drink in the kitchen, be sure to enforce that rigorously, even if you do things differently at your home. Notice the rhythms of the hosts and match your activities to them – be available to help with meal prep and cleanup, don’t decide to shower just when everyone is getting ready to go somewhere, and save laptop time for when others are engaged in individual pursuits.
- If asked to make yourself at home, do it – Learn how to operate the coffeemaker and the dishwasher. Notice where things are kept and put them back. Notice where you can pitch in and make things easier (and notice when staying out of the way is the most helpful thing you can do.)
- Be appreciative – no matter if you are the perfect guest, somebody is going to some bother for you. Let them know you are grateful – by your words and actions. Leave a thoughtful note, send an email, say it in person. Perhaps the best way to be appreciative is to open your home to others frequently yourself, and apply what you’ve learned from particularly good hosts.
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