Five Tips for Planning a Big Party

Last weekend my siblings and our families gave a fiftieth anniversary party for my parents. My head is still spinning a bit with all of it, but I want to share some things that made our big celebration a big success:

It’s not just that you need to schedule the venue and any professional services you may use far in advance. Your party will be better if you have plenty of time to imagine and brainstorm and discard and refine ideas. Give yourself this gift if you can at all, and use it: get advice, browse the net, wander through stores with a “party eye,” drive around and scout for sources, places, and people.

Many, many lists make an organized event!

In all the choosing and planning, keep returning your mind to the ones for whom you are doing this. Make sure everything stays about them and for them and to their taste. If they shy away from the spotlight, find ways to honor them without forcing them to talk in front of a big crowd. And even though all the wedding receptions and grad parties this season feature mason jars and burlap, if the ones you are celebrating are more the crystal and lace type, go with that. The whole point of a party is to show love to someone, and if you are honoring someone with a party, make everything you include be a gift to them.

There are some incredible, creative ideas out there, but somehow they all start looking the same after awhile. Take a mental step back and, with your honorees firmly in mind, evaluate those activities and ideas and decorations. Can you take them and give them a twist that will make them simpler, cheaper, more fitted to yourcrowd?

Each table contained photo flip books of different periods in Mom’s and Dad’s lives and other photos scattered under the sheer table toppers. Two of my young nieces made pipe cleaner rings with Hershey’s Kiss “diamonds” for a fun favor.

A smart friend of mine found out during her wedding-planning that any item marketed for weddings turned out to be about twice as expensive as something similar but generic. Guestbooks, napkins, decorations – all of it. Stay out of that trap. Think creatively about what you need to acquire – there is usually a budget-friendly way.

Utilizing the time and talent of friends and family is the best way to save money, and it always seems like the willing helpers end up having the most fun. Match talents to needs. My sister who is a whiz on a computer and loves to shop for bargains got practically free prints of old family photos, took care of the invitations, set up a phone-in way for loved ones to leave messages for Mom and Dad, and discovered we could buy table linens cheaper than we could rent them. My daughter dreamed up a decorating scheme for a family portrait tree and my husband built the framework to support it. My brother who is a great public speaker emceed. I was in charge of menu-planning and cooking. One of our sons was in his element with the video and photography end of things. A dear friend arranged all the flowers (ordered from Costco and delivered to her door.) There was lots of other help, too – you get the idea.

A family tree made of portraits

I am known for having a binder for every project. I happily accept any teasing that comes my way because of that. For me, every minute of time spent thinking things through and making notes ahead of the day saves me at least ten minutes of angst as the deadlines approach. I do not want to throw parties, take vacations, or teach classes that I can’t enjoy because I didn’t prepare for them. Glitches and problems will happen whether one is organized or not, and I’m not talking about becoming a control freak who thinks she can prevent all difficulties, but in my experience giving plenty of attention to planning and organizing circumvents a good deal of these.

Being organized (and starting way ahead) allows you to pace yourself. In this case, it was vital to be as organized as possible, because the party wasn’t the only way we celebrated this milestone in Mom’s and Dad’s lives. Our whole family met in Yellowstone for eight days at the beginning of the month for a vacation together. My immediate family drove and saw sights on the way out and back, which made for a just-over-three-week trip. We got home on Monday night before the Saturday morning party! I made lots of mini-deadlines — everything that could be done before the trip was done before the trip. For example, I planned a menu that allowed me to make and freeze much of the food a month before the day. I had a detailed plan in place for everything that had to be accomplished once we got home, and even though we were half in trip-recovery mode, we just worked our way through the plan and got the jobs ticked off the list pretty easily.

I made hundreds of crepes a month before the party and froze them for the day.

Don’t get so caught up in the work that you lose sight of why you are doing what you are doing. Keep the people before the things. Keep the purpose before the details. Do it for love, for the memories, for the joy of the occasion.

I am so glad we made the decision nine months ago to have this party. It was a lot of work, but it was an honor to put together a celebration to honor two people who have given of themselves throughout their lives. I truly enjoyed the process of planning it, and it is some of the happiest work I have done.

My mom and dad — nobody could ask for better parents or a better example of a great marriage.