Balancing Balance Part XII: You Get Just This One Life – Embrace the One You’ve Got!

“Did you hear about that woman who ran off and left her family? She had a husband and little kids and everything. Can you believe that?”

Now and then you hear a story about somebody who does that – a woman abandons her family, sometimes for another man, but sometimes for reasons unclear. I had an old friend with whom I had lost touch who did that several years ago, and I was shocked for a long time. Now, without at all condoning what she did, I think I understand a little better.

Do you ever hear yourself saying anything like this?

“If only…”

“Once _________ is over…”

“If I didn’t have to deal with ____________, I could ____________…”

Yeah, me too.

When my child didn’t sleep through the night, I looked forward to the time when she would.

When my grade-schooler didn’t “get” the times tables, I looked forward to the day when we wouldn’t have to drill them every twelve hours.

When my teenager had senioritis, I looked forward to not being the one charged with motivating him to complete his graduation requirements.

That was all versions of wishing my life away. I still do it sometimes, and it is common but foolish, because I just get this one life.

Much worse, but related, is what happened when a really hard time came along.

When my life turned upside down several years ago in a period of need and crisis, I tried to run away.

Well, I didn’t literally run away, although I came very, very close. That I stayed physically in place is no occasion for praise, however, because I ran away mentally and emotionally from a life I did not ask for.

I did not appreciate the way God was blessing me every single day. I did not realize He was giving me an opportunity for growth. I did not consider what my attitude was teaching the ones under my influence. I wasted my blessings, my opportunity to grow, my influence, and that part of my life, which was shameful.

Yes, there were extenuating circumstances. Yes, we were pushed almost beyond our ability to cope. Yes, others might have behaved the same way.

Nevertheless.

I confess this in the hope that you will understand that I write from a position of regret and determination to do better, which is all we can do when we realize we have failed.

We run away from our lives in lots of ways. We run away from our lives when there isn’t even anything seriously challenging about them. Women have been doing it generation after generation. The apostle Paul even wrote about it:

“And besides they [women] learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not…”

But we don’t do that, of course. Instead, we spend hours on facebook, or playing Farmville, or texting, having a spa day, or shopping, or watching a chick flick, or having a girls’ night out.

Ouch.

Yes, I am being tough on us. And, no, I am not saying these things are wrong in themselves. You already know that, right? I am talking about when these “treats” become more of the main course of our days, when we use what ought to be an occasional diversion as a distraction from our real lives – the ones in which we are called to serve and teach and sacrifice and submit and lead and grow.

If I let that happen, that nagging sensation I feel is my conscience prodding me. I don’t feel quite easy within myself, because I know I am neglecting people who depend on me and responsibilities that belong to me. I know I am exchanging my real life for some sort of escape – I am running away from the one life I get.

My life is out of balance and I am never going to feel peaceful until I come to my senses and stop running.

And after I stop running, I can be still long enough to tell myself the truth and finally embrace my life.

If I have a sink full of dirty dishes but I hate washing dishes, I’ve got to tell myself the truth about adulthood and embrace my life.

If my husband wants to quit his city job and start farming but I hate to get dirty, I’ve got to tell myself the truth about marriage and embrace my life.

If my kids are running the show but I feel intimidated about bringing them up, I’ve got to tell myself the truth about love and embrace my life.

If I love caviar but we have a beans income, I’ve got to tell myself the truth about finances and embrace my life.

If there are needs around me but I am jealous over my time, I’ve got to tell myself the truth about my purpose here and embrace my life.

We all just get this one life. Don’t run from it – embrace it.

“Nothing is more endangered in the modern world than the powerful

combination of hard work toward meaningful goals joined with an

exuberant embrace of the present moment.” Tom Morris

P.S. I think this is all I have to say about Balancing Balance, and aren’t we all glad, unless of course if something else occurs to me; in that case I make no promises. In case you missed one and want to read: