Maximizer, Satisficer, or Monkey in the Middle?

Sometimes I think I am spending much of my adulthood recovering from my childhood, and I mean that in the nicest possible way, because my growing up time was terrific – I was blessed with exemplary parents, wise mentors, and valuable education and training.

Of course, valuable traits are not the only ones I brought with me from that good childhood. I also absorbed ways of living life that do not serve me or others as well as they might. One involves the tendency to be a maximizer rather than a satisficer. Satisficer is a portmanteau of the words satisfy and suffice. I read a short article some time ago which posits that satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. A maximizer is a person who seeks to maximize every choice — to find the best deal, the greatest quality, the ultimate experience. Whatever the maximizer’s priority may be — achievement, acquisition, or experiences — he will not rest until he believes he has attained the best of that thing. He will expend whatever time and energy is necessary to find the sweetest melon, the best bargain for the highest quality clothing, the most efficient plan for conducting the meeting, the most fun games for the party, the best combination of fuel efficiency, style, and comfort for the new car, and the most fabulous vacation itinerary. Maximizers are usually admired by others and often experience a high standard of living.

The downside of being a maximizer is the nagging sense that accompanies all that striving, the little voice that says, “Of course, this is good, but I wonder if there is something better?” The answer, of course, is “undoubtedly so.” Since “the best of” anything can only be one choice, maximizers will be frustrated time and again by the limits of their money, time, knowledge, talent, and resources. And, even if a maximizer really can access the best of something, because newer, faster, stronger, longer-lasting widgets are always being developed, even his “best of” will be eventually replaced by something better. At his most extreme, the maximizer becomes paralyzed because he refuses to make a less than optimal choice and knows he does not have to power to attain the best. He is always searching, second-guessing himself, and feeling, well, dissatisfied.

Satisficers, by contrast, stop searching when their criteria are met. If a satisficer decides she needs a new blouse, she establishes what she wants: a washable white, button-up blouse that is suitable to wear to work and church. Then she goes shopping, and when she finds a washable white, button-up blouse that will go well with her wardrobe, she purchases it and stops shopping. She does not feel compelled to see every white blouse in every store in the mall and around the mall and online before she makes a choice. She goes home satisfied – happy — because the blouse is sufficient for her needs.

Very often, satisficer equals contentment equals happiness — it is a formula I have to remind myself of frequently. Whether I am a maximizer by nature or by nurture is open to debate, but I suspect it is not innate because in many areas of my life I am a natural satisficer. I notice that the categories in which I chase maximized experience are mostly the same ones my parents, born maximizers, hold in highest esteem. Mainly, I find myself feeling guilty if I don’t at least try to find the best deal or the greatest quality when I purchase almost anything. At Thanksgiving, with my grocery store’s free turkey coupon in my purse, I realized I was hefting frozen turkeys in and out of a deep case trying to find the largest. I laughed at myself when I realized I was about to switch the 22.6 lb. specimen I had placed in my cart, the biggest one I had seen so far, for a 22.8 lb. bird I found near the bottom because it was “better.” How much time and energy did I expend bent over that freezer? Hmmm. Wise. Yeah.